Tuesday, September 10, 2013


Cause I've missed you
So I put on a smile when u're not around
Showing u 'this what's u've been missing out'

Caused I've fall for you
So I had this broken smile to be tough 
Showing the world that i'm fine although i'm all pieces inside

Cause I thought I'll win u over
So I brought my guards down and put my hopes high
Showing u what a dumb romantic i was

Cause I've missed u
So I brought myself back to square one
Where i've almost collected all the broken pieces
Hoping to show u what's it's like to be me

Cause I might fall for u
I bring my guards real high
Psychoing myself that it wont repeat again
Hoping that i wont fall too deep this time

Cause I thought I'll win
So I bring  myself to a battle that I may lose all over again
Hoping u'll care and i find the antidote to fix my heart 

But i think i did it wrong
cause i'm falling again, will i even recover this time around?
it aint fair cause u know 
u know i'll fall for all the things u say
all the stuff u say u did
even thou they're not even the truth

I'm scared.. 
cause its not about winning u over this time 

I'm afraid ..
what if..
i might lose myself again.. 

Thursday, August 8, 2013


Of messy buns and polka dots
Cross tattoos and crazy nights
Running nose and cortisols
I'm still here missing u
Grasping on little memories and little things
Remembering how it was when u were mine
But I was the fool all along
Cause u were never really mine

With this headache and mucousy brain
I'll pop some pills and sleep it off
Hoping my leukocytes will win this battle
like how I wished I won your heart
But I know I'll recover , one day I will
Eventually ..
From this heartache and this fever
I'll be strong and I'll be healthy
I'll love me more and miss u less

But for now I'm stuck with this ..
Heartache headache flu and panadols
But Good nights for now
and when the lights are out
I'll miss u ..
For one more time ..
For one last time ..

Friday, May 10, 2013

nite nites

Back in Japan :)

just to say a little goodnite :)
done with 2 weeks of classes! weeeeeeee
(random sial)


Tuesday, April 30, 2013


全因....事实往往是残酷的 :/

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Of Bricks and Red Lips

A lookbook post for today :)

This marks the start of my study week D:
finals are next week.. should be studying..
but got a little bored after reports so .. tadah!

don wanna start studying look?
here i am procrastinating

showing off some pictures of dinner outing with the girls

well hello there!
perhaps u've seen it on instagram @carynkho dy.. if not follow me la pls *puppy eyes*
super love Queen's camera de!
Went to The Pork's Place near Puchong

me and me phone xP 

so i guess this is one of those post filled with vain pictures of myself ! teehee!

see can move some more! LOL!!
haha! enough of boring u with me vain self :P
toodles for now!
and do hype me look on lookbook k!

all the best for finals everyone! hwaiting!!

Friday, March 29, 2013

Little Things

"I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
you never want to know how much you weigh
you still have to squeeze into your jeans but you're perfect to me
I won't let this little things slips out of my mouthBut if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up toI'm in love with you and all these little things
You never love yourself half as much as i love you

you'll never treat yourself right darling 
but I want you to 
if I let you know, I'm here for you"

what i did for my info tech typography assignment :)
a little cacated and not emo enough me thinks :/ but oh wells..
hello? Food Science student here kay == 

what i came out with for fun after some readings , :P
should be practicing my html or sleeping but oh wells..
random stuff of the day!

Dear thrill, 
i fell for u,
felt for u hard and strong,
and there were times where
i mistaken u for something more,
but u're just thrill, lust , excitements,

and i wonder..
how my emotions are all about u,
how i enjoy playing the game of hide and seek,
how i smiled on every note u made,
how i giggled on silly stuffs u say
how the late night talks, the crazy messages, the weird communications make my day,
how all that ended up

u turned your back
u showed your colours
u walked away

leaving me here
confused, perplexed, abandoned

how i made a fool out of myself
how i put hope in all this
how i thought it would be different
how i wished u were the one

but i'm no longer that, i moved on,
i'll grow up, i'll survived
no regrets, no turning back
picking myself up, i'll walk away
building higher walls, forming colder hearts

cause i hate losing ..
hate losing my heart 
hate falling for this thrill 
hate needing all the approval
hate losing this stupid game of tug-of-war we all play..
and i hate me for hating me..

dear me, it's all right ;)
u're alright
u'll be fine..

and then it's time
i'll take a bow, as the curtains fall down, the credits roll up,
the show's over and i'll get up
i'll get better, i'll get cuter, i'll be irresistible
thou i'll be hurting, i'll be learning 

and then i'll leave.
away from the shattered heart
away from this dream
away from this weird memory we both shared..

sugar dreams xoxo

Friday, March 22, 2013

Falling down

Quote of the day

The scariest thing is not falling down,
But its when u give up getting back on your feet when u hit the ground..

so u never ever give up.. u hear me?! NEVER!
cause there's so much more in the future that u'll missed out if u stay on the ground
and this fall would be so insignificance when u look back at it ;)
just suck it up and get up u! 
cause the world still spins, the sun still shine and u'll be stuck there..
*self talk*

talking bout falling down,
been hugging the floor a couple of times these few weeks ><
malu sial D:
but oh wells, i did get back up :P
no worries,
i can live with a scrape knee and a bruised ego
nothing's stopping me from killer heels! teehee! :P

Boo! love ya xoxo
just gotta end with a vain picta of mua xP teehee! 

back to assignments, prawns and egg custard for the night.. >.<
p.s crazy me having this one post per day thingy

Thursday, March 21, 2013


I've always ask my best friend ,
how do u know that u like or have feelings towards that someone?

She'll answer me: i donno, 
but i guess it's when u go out and see something and it just reminds u of that someone?

Shit.. cause if that definition applies.. 
i'm perplex, confused ,bamboozle, puzzled,baffled and every other possible adjectives

but i guess it doesn't apply to everyone?
cause i'll think about
men when i see sisters,
PEF when i see neon,
brin when i see turquoise,
brit when i see any 1D stuffs,
yvonne when i see cats,
yet wai when i see sharks,
big head when i see yellow,
zinc when i see korean,
queen when i see leopard prints,
quik when i see guinea pigs,
mich when i see mango shirts,
vince when i see thin ppl lol!,

so i guess it just depends on what u happened to come across that day ?
right?! >.<
it's no biggie that u see the same sorta things a few days in a row ..

btw just about today,
class got cancelled last minute so we resorted to
snowflakes, ice-creams, shopping, and more pasar malam food
Fun Fun Fun!
but all these are done to make up to all the sadness we'll be having next week ><
1 mid term, 2 presentations, 1 assignment 1 lab report , 1 lab test
just yay!

but everything happens for  reason, had a great day with the girls :)
fun time chatting with the bros too :P
off to report :)

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Is the small things that matters

Its not what big things give u,
it's how u find happiness in those small things..
cause it's always the small things that matter the most

Photo: Day 2 of Matta Fair :) come visit me at hall 2 booth 2078-2083!
Matta Fair look :P
The small things in life actually in the last day working for matta fair that made my day..

1. Just a complete stranger coming up to me and telling me that I'm pretty  
sounds kinda shallow right? but when u think from the point of view of that kind stranger, all he wanted
was tell that person she's beautiful and brighten her day :)
now much better kan?  so next time don be kedekut at complimenting others k ;)

2. A small kid nudging me and giving me a pack of Yupi Burger 

for those who donno what a yapi burger is xP why u no childhood de 
while saying : 姐姐,这个给你,你刚才请我吃糖果 with his big cutie smile
awwwwww *melts*
one gummy and i'm a happy kid! lol!

3. Friends paying a visit :) thanks for coming!

4. And of course finally finish working! i know this one's kinda lame but finish work WHO NOT HAPPY u tell me xP

donno whats with this sudden urge to update the blog xP
but oh wells, goodnites love xx

p.s do wish us luck for the presentation of internet tech asignment 2mr ><

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

I miss u

Dear Sister,


I miss u..
like freaking freaking much

Especially like a night like this,
i miss having u doing homework together,
i miss drinking coffees u made that keep me awake
i miss talking to each other and rambling about our day
i miss us talking at the same time just about our stuff but yet listening
i miss the annoying sound u do when u knock the table to wake me up
i miss sleeping on the sofa knowing that u'll wake me up
i miss wearing matching PJs together

on other times,
I miss u..

I miss taking pictures with u

i miss doing crazy stuff together
i miss chasing dramas with u
i miss being a fatass with u
i miss u laughing at me when i tear up  like what i'm doing now
i miss u being all sarcastic with me
i miss u giving me all the food and fake being bad in math
i miss going out for movies and dates with u
i miss just being in the same room with u..

i miss having someone to talk to after the lights are out,
i miss u secretly snatching me pillow away when i'm about to lie down
i miss u squeezing together on the small bed  which i find is now too big
and just everything else...

I just miss u my crazy sister :'(
i'm really glad May is finally coming cause once again.. wo zhen de xiang ni le!!

okie gotta stop this crazy random emo post now
back to assignments!

 i MISS u
p.s i miss u LOTS too PEF!! 

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Happy New year peeps :)
first post of the year! lol
just want to reminiscence old good times a bit

how i miss my night outs ...

but the new year = new good habits?
have been sleeping early (sorry but anytime before 1.30 is early for me xP ) these days
still not admitting that i'm old :(
is actually turning 21 this year DDDD:
but this gives me even more motivation to do stuff i've wanted
do make your new year resolutions and do them!!
enough of the same ones every year peeps!
go sign up for the class u always wanted to but 'happens' to miss out everytime
go achieve the things u set goal upon but something always gets in the way
go out from your comfort zone and challenge yourself
u will love the new u more :)
and the 2014 u will love and thank the 2013 u for making a difference ;)

lastly. missing my old long hair :/
i cant even tie a proper ponytail with this hair length
goodnye 2012, goodbye long hair 
goodnite loves :)